Home Birth

Theo's Birth video from hailey bartholomew on Vimeo.

Disclaimer: This video shows breasts and breast feeding but is otherwise discreet. You will probably cry and will watch it on repeat.

This video has made the rounds on the internet..and for good reason. It is magic. Anytime Grant and I feel stressed out about the "unknowns" we snuggle up and watch this. We both cry (even though we have watched it numerous times) and our anxiety is replaced with a surge of excitement and energy.

We are choosing to have a home birth.

Our midwives from the Sanctuary birthing center are amazing and enlightened. They are knowledgeable and warm. Our experience with them has been reassuring and extremely positive. We leave our pre-natal appointments and both feel satisfaction and contentment. I feel taken care of. Grant feels taken care of and I have no doubt our little lady feels the same.

We know that no matter how much preparation or planning we do...our baby girl may have other plans for her birth. We both feel strongly that the best thing we can do is stay flexible and open minded. So far so good and I feel so grateful for the peaceful feeling this desicion has left on me.

As much as we love Theo's birth, we have no preconceived idea of how our daughters birth "should be"...rather we feel it "will be" how it needs to be and we can only do our best to prepare mentally and physically for her grand entrance.

We are reading some amazing books that once I have finished, and formulated my opinions of each, I will share.

Yesterday one of my best friends gave birth to her second child, a dashing fellow named Major. His delivery was beautiful and empowering and full of love...and it was not at home. I am overwhelmed at the sacrifice mothers, fathers and families give in order to let a little human have a chance at life. I draw so much strength and goodness from the women that have gone before me and have shown me IT IS POSSIBLE. No matter how you choose to birth, I am in awe that you choose at all.

We welcome positive and encouraging comments.

(read about Theo's birth here. I follow gregarious peach's blog and it is one of the highlights of my day.)

Empty

Emptied our old house to clutter up a new one.

The internet and I are back together again..so now I can stop neglecting my computer and blog.

Reunited and it feels SO good.

Not So Bad...

(photos taken by Rochelle Kramer)

Photos of our new home. Not my photos or our furnishings...but after the dramatic goodbye I wanted to let you know how excited I am to be in our new space. We love it.

Goodbyes

Today is the last Friday we will sleep in our 1st home. Tomorrow the movers come. And then the next day happens...not here. I love change.  I do. I love newness and the unknown and the excitement of "firsts"....but I get very attached. Even to things.

Once the divorce/annulment to my 1st husband was finalized, I moved out of the home we had bought together. Alone. But alone was good. That home had become a sanctuary for me  during the months of our separation. I was living alone there, by choice. When the time came to sleep my last night and say goodbye, I was beside myself. Those walls! That doorknob! Those windows! That one step on the stairs! They had held me up. Kept me in. Protected me. I was leaving a space that knew what the last year had been for me...when most people had no idea..and still don't. I wanted to tear down the structure and pack it with me on my way to NYC. I wanted my old friends to come with.

I moved. And survived. And thrived even! In a lot of new places with lots  of new things.. and people..to hold me up and keep me in.

And here I am again...kind of. I am moving out of a home I love but this time I am taking a human with me... AND that has made all the difference.

This house has seen me single and trying to decide if I could be brave enough for marriage again. It's seen me married and really wishing we had 2 bathrooms. It saw me with hands shaking holding a pregnancy test waiting for 2 lines or 1..alone in our one bathroom full of light.

This house has kind of seen a lot.

I had a friend remind me in an email this week that being sad to move on is a good thing. It means I was happy here.

Here are some of our "What about" memories we emailed to each other one day this week...

Grants:

What about all the notes around the house? What about our view of the studio's water tower in the sunset from our back porch? What about the yellow floor you painted? What about the kitchen faucet that runs for another 6 seconds after you turn it off and how you learn to play that dribble to get the right amount of water. What about the candle wax on the carpet from a romantic evening? What about the duct tape you used to build that fort? What about the constant sound of a lawn being mowed? What about your babies thinking we lived in some sort of toy house? What about fighting over how much curtain to leave agape so that enough air comes in? What about our lean-to mirrors? What about all the "organizing" I did for your wardrobe while you were out of town and then you couldn't ever find anything?

Mine:

What about standing on the front porch with our three imaginary kids waving goodbye as you leave us for work? What about staring at your shoes every time I am on the toilet? What about asking you to take down the sweater box 100 times a week?..and then wanting you to put it back up? What about covering up the hard drive lights every night before we sleep? What about the earthquakes and me thinking they're never a big deal? What about when Tiffany lived out of a suburban outside our bedroom window? What about when that one girl threw-up in our bathroom? What about the tiny plastic bottle of liquor we found on our front lawn? What about watching the lost season finale cuddled in our love nest on the red couch? What about finding out I was a mom in the bathroom and then staining your shirt with mascara from crying so hard? What about hanging our colorful lanterns in our blue alleyway? What about that day I tried to take the mail out of the mailbox and lifted the whole box off the house? What about the UPS guy?

We lay awake the night before and named about a 100 of these.

On to the last of packing. We have a new house to move in to!

PS. kind of love the iphone shot of me so hungry I was eating cinnamon toast and popcorn simultaneously. This was pre-pregnant mind you.

The Little Blue House is FOR RENT!

We are moving!

We have been looking for more space for a year now and finally found the perfect fit in Long Beach.

Space is the ONLY reason we are moving from current home. We have absolutely loved everything about this neighborhood.

  • Walking distance to downtown Culver City, with w movie theaters, trader joes, a farmers market every Tuesday, a lot of great restaurants including Fords Filling Station and Tender Greens.
  • Jackson Market literally next store for deli sandwiches and a stick of butter when you're in a bind.
  • Right around the corner from Carlson Park.
  • Right next to Sony Studios.

The house is the perfect size for 1 person and fine for 2 people if you enjoy being with each other.

Only 1 bdrm, 1 bath. A whopping 520sq feet.

It has a huge backyard, front yard and a detached garage for storage. Plus a driveway that can park 4-5 cars.

The rent is month to month (which we LOVED) and is only $1250. For this neighborhood it is a steal.

It is available starting Nov 1st.

Address: 4055 Jackson Ave. Culver City, CA 90232

Please email me if you are interested and I can put you in touch with our landlord. rachel@rachelthurston.com.

It is such a great spot we wanted to give our friends firsts dibs. Pass the word around!!

(photos I took for a feature Design Sponge did on our home. See more here.)

"Explorer of Heaven and Earth"

1991 - 2010

Alec Whitney Henriksen

"Explorer of Heaven and Earth"

On Thursday, September 30th, our hearts were broken to learn that our precious son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, and friend, Alec Whitney Henriksen passed away at Earlham College in Indiana. Alec was born on December 11th, 1991 to his adoring parents Todd A. and Alison Henriksen in Salt Lake City, UT. He leaves behind his parents, his older brother Cory (Jennifer), loving sister Caitlin, younger brother Eli, and life long companion and twin brother Landon. Alec left his unique mark on this earth and touched many with his remarkable intellect, easy wit, and huge heart. He was a seeker of knowledge and truth. A budding scientist, philosopher, and humanitarian. A self taught master of computer programming, he published his first public domain site at age 14. So young but so far ahead of his time. He accomplished and learned more than many in a lifetime. Alec loved books, backpacking and rock climbing. He cherished his years of learning and exploring the world at "his" school, Realms of Inquiry where he loved and was loved by wonderful teachers and great friends. His parents, siblings, devoted Grandma Evelyn Henriksen, many aunts, uncles, cousins, and a huge circle of dear friends survive Alec. He is now being embraced by his beloved Grandma Peggy Whitney, and Grandpa C. Richard Henriksen in heaven. He moves on now to a place of higher learning and is delighted to sit with the great minds of the world where his yearning for knowledge will be fed. Find peace there our beloved Alec, "Explorer of Heaven and Earth".

Alec, wish I was there today to celebrate your life. We love and miss you. Give Grandpa a big hug from me and tell him he's getting another great granddaughter!!!

(Post shamelessly stolen from my cousins blog. Thanks for posting this Becky. Love you.)

Shooting Schedule

I've needed to post my schedule for the next 6mos for awhile now. After turning down numerous weddings for this coming February, I knew I needed to set a more firm timeline for maternity leave.

As of now our little thumbelina is scheduled to arrive early-ish February. Because of this not so small event I am not booking weddings from January-April. I will also not be taking any out of state jobs during the same time-frame.

I will however be taking local jobs on a case by case basis Jan-Apr 2011. Please email for inquiries.

I will be back to shooting as normal in May.

I have already started booking work May through the end of 2011 so let me know if you are interested in reserving a date.

As excited as we are for our miniature lady to join the family...it is hard for me to take the time off from work. I get a pit in my stomach having to say no to jobs that I really want to shoot.

It will be a bit of an adjustment finding the right balance and I appreciate your patience as I learn to juggle marriage, motherhood and work.

xxoo- Rachel

(This is one of my all time favorite photos. My mom holding me as a newborn at home in Fairbanks, AK. I love her hair and the snow and the tall trees...and I really love the reflection. Good job Dad.)

Five

Just thinking about my brothers and sisters today and how much I love them.

Every. Single. One.

Make it a goal to say "I love you" more this weekend. Don't wait to give attention to what matters most in your life.

(photo taken on my wedding day by Jonathan Canlas)

20 weeks, 5 days + Liege Waffles

Since April when we took our trip to Europe we have have pretty much one thing on our minds....Liege waffles.

If you've had one you understand the one track mind.

Most authentic recipe I could find was on epicurious that led me to this converted recipe that I ended up using. I bought the pearl sugar at Surfas but am thinking of making my own next time from sugar cubes to be more enviro friendly. Using sugar imported from Belgium seems a bit extreme.

It was pretty time consuming but mostly from all the waiting. The result was VERY similar to the ones we ate from street vendors in Brussels and Bruges. We both took our first bites and looked at each other with wide glazed over eyes. I'm already looking in to buying a Liege waffle iron.

Oh! and we are on 2nd half of baby building. She must be like her Mum because she loved the waffles. Yes, we found out yesterday we are having a girl. A little bitty female. How amazing is that!? 20 weeks 5 days, Liege waffles and finding out we are getting our very own girl.

Yesterday was a very good day.

17 Weeks

Here we are at Frenchman's Beach on Stradbroke Island,  Australia. What happens on Frenchman's stays on Frenchman's.........but I do have to say one of us came out of there looking really pregnant....

(Stradbroke Island had some of the most beautiful beaches I had ever seen and it was pretty much deserted while we were there. We spent the day on this white sand beach by ourselves. I was 17 weeks here and am now 19 weeks! We find out boy or girl any day now!)

Wedding Season 2010

So I am back from what feels like 3 solid months of traveling. Dave & Mel's wedding in Brisbane was shear brilliance. Photobooth photos above prove the level of fun we had. (How did we fit our 4 noggins in that tiny photobooth?!..and why am I hogging the whole frame?)

I'm home. Summer wedding season 2010 has reached it's end and I can't get any work done before I say a few things...

I feel so grateful.

I don't say it enough.

I feel emotional thinking of the friendships with clients we made this year and years before. I feel overwhelmed at the gift I have been given of the all important task of documenting so many formative moments.

Sure I'm exhausted. Sure at times I feel burned out. No, being a photographer is not easy or glamorous. It's hard work and takes a toll on you physically, emotionally and mentally. But as I spent this summer shooting weddings with a wee babe growing inside me, I felt immense gratitude at the opportunity I have to work for myself, CREATE and control to an extent the story of my life. I have changes rapidly approaching my life and lifestyle and I feel comfort in the fact that I have photography. I have a career I really really really love and care about. I have a career flexible enough to let me be a business woman, a wife and a mother. Sometimes I just don't feel deserving.

So many blessings that I can only hope to give back.

Thank you to my beautiful clients for supporting me and my work...and for trusting me.

I really do love all of you to the moon and back.

Down Under + The Dalai Lama

Tonight we leave for Melanie and Dave's wedding in Brisbane. Melanie emailed yesterday to suggest, "You should push that little belly as far out as possible and maybe they’ll upgrade you so you can lie down? Worth a try....." I love a bride looking out for mama and wee babe.

Grant and I are so excited to shoot shoot shoot and get a little vacation time squeezed in before and after.

Here is a photo of me last time I was in Australia. It was about 8+yrs ago. Now I can compare pouch sizes with the kangaroos.

Oh! and last time I was in Sydney I happened to be in the lobby of our hotel and the Dalai Lama happened to be staying there and happened to walk past me right as I was walking past him... AND I happened to be holding my 1st ever digital camera the nikon coolpix. I just happened to get this photo of him looking right at me and smiling as I was being swept away by security. I think I had a moment with him, don't you?

It was awesome. I wonder if he ever thinks about me...

I will have internet but limited phone so email if you need me but don't expect a super quick response unless you are my Brisbane bride or His Holiness.

Stay Connected

I am off camping for the rest of this week. This is my 3rd year helping to plan a church camp for teenage girls. It is a lot of work and the pay off is being at camp getting to enjoy the months of sweat and tears that go in to planning.

Our theme for camp is "Staying Connected". Discounting from the the distractions of the everyday and re-connecting with the sources that bring us ultimate strength and focus.

One of my projects was designing these small custom puzzles for them to gather pieces to during a scavenger hunt. I ordered the puzzles from portrait puzzles and the tins from specialty bottles. The stickers I printed myself.

With carpel tunnel setting in to my right hand this theme and week break from the computer couldn't come at a better time.

And so I say goodbye for a few days while I breath in some mountain air and give my poor hand a rest.

(Service may be spotty so unless it's a photographic emergency, don't expect a response until next Monday).

xxoo-

Rachel

Animal Talk

I am sensitive. I was sensitive even before.

I am sensitive to smell. Even the normal fabric softener I love smells like a flower bomb exploded in my nose….and not in a good way.

I am sensitive to taste. What use to taste like magic…basil, garlic..spices, spices, spices! Now taste 2nd rate. I actually don’t really want to taste any of that. My body doesn’t (but my heart does).

I am sensitive to sounds. Too loud, too soft, too harsh. Negative sounds, negative words weigh heavy on me. I cry and find something "light" to help me feel better.

I am sensitive to sights. My eyes sometimes sees things that don’t even exist.  Things look more. My usual glances turn into stares with each color and each shadow and each contour holding meaning it never held before. What are they trying to say? Have they changed or have I? Plus, I see way more more spiders.

My subconscious is sensitive. My dreams are tender and emotional. They tell me things I’m not ready to know yet.

My  heart is sensitive.

My mind is sensitive.

My body is sensitive.

My thoughts are sensitive.

My spirit is sensitive.

I am a mother.

I am an animal.

I am a mammal.

Without choice, I am fiercely protective of something I can’t feel, see or hear.

I stand at ready surveying the environment ready to attack, destroy, ROAR if anything trys to harm you.

I feel exhausted.

I feel inadequate.

I know my nature but still fear I will throw the covers over my head and decide….not to.

Then,

There you are, the first on my mind. And really the only thought that means much anymore.

I don’t even try.

It’s just natural.

Without choice, I’m sensitive.

With choice, I am learning what that means.

Monday Confessions

Sometimes I pick up whatever clothes are on my floor and wear them day after day.

During my 1st week in kindergarten I discovered the girls bathroom had a pink sign and the boy bathroom had a blue sign. I did not like this. Blue became my favorite color. (I am not against pink. See photo).

While we're on the topics of bathrooms...During my 1st three months of being pregnant, almost every time I used a public restroom, I'd wonder if I was going to miscarry. AND then I'd have elaborate daydreams about who I would tell, how upset I would be, fainting in the stall etc...

Yesterday I watched Little Miss Sunshine on TV and cried through the entire thing.

I love photography, but I love my relationships with humans more.

I've never been in a tanning bed.

When I dream about my little sister, Anna, she is usually under the age of 5.

I wish I had dark, long eyelashes.

I am a naturally positive person, but I have a dark side. Ask Grant.

Tradition for traditions sake kind of bugs. Let's give actions meaning people.

I believe in positive and negative energy flow.

Sometimes I go to bed without washing my face, flossing or brushing my teeth. It's just too much effort.

I wasn't even that ready to get pregnant...and now I worry and think about our baby all day long.

I also worry that with a scrub as their Mom, our kids will look homeless until about 18. BUT they will be happy and carefree and dreamers!

I wonder if my kids will want to be dreamers?

Grant says not everyone cares SO much about "meaning". I disagree.

No matter how hard I try, a pile of papers always forms on the left side of my desk.

People keep telling me "Oh, just you wait!", when I say that I'm tired or stressed or xyz. I know I have never been a mom BUT I have cared for children a lot AND believe me when you work full time for yourself you know what tired and stressed feels like.

I might just surprise all of those negative energy sucks and be a very average but adequate mother.

AND I'm planning on loving my baby. How's that for mother of the year?

(inspired by my former bride and now friend's blog, word for word. Get a warm cup a tea and read the whole thing.)

Baby Bunting

So now I can share all the baby stuff we have bought WAY before a baby was even remotely in the equation...you know...just in case.

When I was in Vancouver shooting for OC Tanner during the Olympics, my good friend Whit talked me into buying this organic cotton bunting. I think I may have been a little high from the lobster roll I had eaten moments before the purchase, but I don't regret it. Not one bit.

I guess either gender could wear this but it looks more girly to me...OK, I guess we better have a girl!

What do you think? For a boy, girl or both?

Two Hearts.

"We" become 3 in early February.

Can you believe I have a teeny tiny human inside my body?! I didn't really believe it either until I heard this:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13398541&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1

Feels so good to share the news. Now I can really talk about what's on my mind...NOTHING SOUNDS GOOD TO EAT!

(sorry about the tipsy video...It's really just for the sound anyway)

Creative Live Weekend

(The last photo was taken by fellow classmate Eric. Proof I was in the same room with Master Zack)

The three day studio lighting course with Zack Arias felt more like 3 months. SO much information...in so little time.

It was a photo geek fest. Lights, exposures, cameras, lenses, modifiers, my new boyfriend the 7ft westcott octabank, community, twitter, chat rooms, ruby slippers.......

If you weren't able to watch it live online, and you think you can handle the "geek" level, buy a DVD of the course here.

Zack is an open OPEN book. I have used studio lighting before even though I am a natural light girl at heart, but even with my limited knowledge there was so much I didn't know. Some might have been a review like some of the fstop/numbers talk BUT I had so many little questions about set up and settings and tips on getting a perfect studio shot through the camera. Zack answered all of them. I especially wanted to learn more about modifiers and his opinion on what to buy...what was really needed.

I feel extremely blessed to have been one of the 6 people invited to attend. It really is kind of dreamy for me to be surrounded by people that share so much of my same passion. Being there and reconizing my extreme interest and love for my sport, confirms again what I have always known. I love photography.

Zack and his crew were beyond gracious and kind.  Chase Jarvis hugged me when we met, feed us barbecue and then let me borrow his iphone charger...nuff said. AMAZING. The Creative Live team was so inviting, fun to be around and so on it! You should have seen the production. So impressed. And my other 5 classmates......quality, quality people. Genuine, ego free and all with that fire behind their eyes. I know that fire.

I also gained a lot of new Twitter friends (if you want to follow me on twitter you can here) and for that I am so grateful. I love how the photography community has changed through twitter. It was an amazing process to watch this weekend as questions rolled in and Zack was able to answer them in real time. A wealth of information was being shared. It was humbling to watch.

I received numerous questions via twitter and thought I would answer some of couple of them here:

-No, I do not have an "actual" studio in my bathroom. I have this great mini bathroom that boosts great window light and a white wall behind my tub. I have been know to fake a studio look tub side in a pinch. My tryout video, seen here, for this class shares a glimpse of my fake studio. I also shoot every once in a blue moon in real studio setups like here and here.

-So many of you kind of souls were concerned about my focusing issues while I was shooting live (in front of probably 16,000 plus people!!!). I have not yet solved the issue. I did find a forum with some info here, http://photo.net/canon-eos-digital-camera-forum/00WVzY, but not a firm solution. I have been shooting with that 5D for over three years now. Might just be time for an upgrade. My focus lock has been intermittently working and not working for a couple of months now. Very annoying, especially when thousands of people are watching it happen. Such is life. Let me know if any one has any suggestions on the matter.

Love, love, love to everyone that made this weekend happen and thanks again to Zack & Meg for having me out. It was like Disneyland on crack.

I just feel inspired to be better. A better photographer and a better person.

Links to all my awesome classmates (or as Jeramie called us, "The Oceanic Six"...even typing that makes me miss LOST pretty fierce):

Jeramie Shoda

Aileen Reilly

Jordan Cartwright

Eric Krebs

Nicholas Lopez