(photos of her one day old)
Born at home on Friday February 18th. 8lbs 10oz and 21in long.
Yes, she is still nameless...but not for long. In the meantime feel free to call her "Miss Chubby Cheeks".
We are totally in love, healthy and taking time for our new little family. Thanks for everyone's love and excitement.
We couldn't be happier.
"Hey, stand right there and let me test the light". His favorite line EVER.
Happy birthday to my favorite subject.
Love love love love love you.
Did you know that I have a younger brother with red hair? Yes, I do.
We are going to be happy with whatever baby girl looks like...but we love that she has a fighting chance for some curly red locks.
Scott is the only person I have ever called "Bud". It's his nickname and his alone. Ever since he was really young he was Bud.
We couldn't be more different when it come to coloring. His skin is a few shades lighter than mine and he is the only one in our family with a distinct hair color. We do have some similarities though..We are both the self proclaimed computer experts in the family. We both think we are pretty funny (even if no one else is laughing). We both love lounging around home in comfy clothes and we both have strong opinions and aren't afraid to share them.
Once when he was young (under 10) he gave me a card that said, "I'm your knight in shining armor". I still have it. Then, during the darkest year of my life thus far, on my birthday...he made me a wood plaque that reads, "You're Loved". It's sitting in my office right now. I think it was the most meaningful gift I have ever been given.
He is pretty great, right? I think so.
(We did a little green-screen shoot for some business images he needed in Dec. This was one my favorite faces.)
I have a cousin who married someone really amazing. She loves all things french, all things food and especially all things family. They are raising 4 scrumptious kids...which I hope my turn out like...exactly. Her blog is an inspiration. She talks about NORMAL stuff and when you read it it sounds like magic. Her love of food and of being a Mother constantly inspires me to stretch my creativity and to GIVE more.
Almost a year ago, she wanted to help me celebrate my new website launching and custom made me a menu. Finally a year later after passing through all sorts of weird pregnant food aversions, I made the meal. There was some substitutions based on what I had and how long I could stand in the kitchen before needing to de-swell my feet. But her menu helped us celebrate a dinner at home with "just the two of us" and Grant's birthday this week.
Bruschetta with fig/balsamic jam, green apple slices and melted gruyere
Fresh mixed green salad from this weeks CSA box from The Growing Experience
Roasted thyme and lemon chicken (made in our new Le Creuset french oven that we just treated ourselves with)
Sauteed corn with lemon and thyme (recipe on Grapefruit's blog. YUM)
Mashed potatoes with carrots
I'm always cooking at night and photo was taken on my iphone and I didn't truss the chicken AND...blah...blah...blah... You know what? It tasted good.
I ran out of steam last night but tonight for husbands dinner dessert I am making him pavlova with kiwi.
Thanks Grapefruit for your fantastic recipes and nourishing blog.
I am off to count the hours. xo.
[vimeo 19571109 w=800 h=590] With only 9 days until our due date, we need to give all the attention we can to this wondrous land we have been visiting for the last 10 months.
Filmed on an iphone using the 8mm app, the belly takes center stage. The loop tree is one of "our places" near our old house that we love to visit. We introduced baby girl to the tree and I rubbed my bare belly on it so she could get all the positive energy that oozes from it. Then we slow danced and sang our song that I wrote for her.
I feel like I need to make sure you all know how THRILLED and 99% we feel about becoming parents. I shared some of my feelings in the last blog post to remind myself that we aren't all made up of happy happy, positive positive all the time. We are all duel sided...but I am sorry if I left any of you worried or wondering about how I feel about my own capabilities or excitement at becoming a new mom.
So here are some Friday confessions for this week on a slightly more positive note:
- I have LOVED my pregnant body. I have felt more myself, full, complete and drop dead sexy.
- Although I know there will be transitions, I secretly am glad I already spend a far amount of time at home. I think this will give me an edge with some of the adjustment.
- I'm pretty positive she will be the most gorgeous breathtaking thing any of us have ever laid eyes on. ESPECIALLY if she is plump plump plump.
- I have never appreciated my body more. I honor every part of it in a whole new light. I read this quote a few nights ago that my midwives shared in our birthing bible and wanted to share it with you all:
The beauty of my body is not measured by the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, " We grew a child in here, " and breasts that say "We nourished life." Mu hands, with bitten nails and a writer's callus, say, " We create amazing things." - Sarah, from I Am Beautiful: A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words.
I agree with EVERY word.
- I am so grateful I have had so much time around newborns. I know how to hold, soothe, kiss and trick them (like rubbing their cheeks to get them to turn their head for a photo....sorry baby just a photo trick not time to breastfeed!)
- I have learned so much from our midwives and birth classes and feel so confident about our choice to birth at home.
- Yes my back hurts and my body rolls from room to room but I spent most of my time knowing how much I will "miss" her once she is out. She is going to feel so far away.
- Guess who gets to have feeding, loving, cuddling, diaper changing time with her two favorite people in just a short few days?! ME!
We anxiously await her arrival at every moment.
I am 38weeks pregnant and still don't really believe..deep down...that we'll have a baby in a few weeks. I pretty much have only worn flip flops for the last 9months.
I've prepped for natural birth, as much as I can, but most of the time feel completely unprepared.
My mind goes into overdrive at nights and Grant's is in slow motion. This is really annoying.
In part of my dream last night I was trying to back a motor home out of a parking lot and the brakes didn't work.
Sometimes it seems like every other photographer out there is honing their craft..studying, experimenting and I am just sitting around doing the same ole' thing.
I want to dress nice and feel fashionable but most of the time never think about what I am wearing. Product of working from home?
I know very little about vaccinations and have no idea how I feel about them.
I wake up every morning and have to stretch my hands out because they are so swollen and painful.
I need a new hair style BAD but keep putting off cutting it. Do I really want to have bangs again? Why can't my hair grow faster?
Still haven't installed the car seat.
I usually have a little whipped cream at least once a day.
I feel guilty when I don't talk aloud enough to my unborn baby.
I've been using the same mascara for almost 2yrs. Shouldn't my eyes be falling out?
The sheets on our bed bug me so bad. They are always so crinkly! Why can't they be smooth?
We are heading to Palm Springs this weekend for our "last" weekend away.
I am trying to enforce the no reading for education policy for this weekend, only trashy magazines...but feel guilty because we should be brushing up on birthing positions.
I've never felt ready to be a parent. I know I can do it but that is different than feeling ready.
Sometimes when stuff is really hard I will express out loud that this wasn't the life I choose.
THEN sometimes when life is pretty alright I'll wonder why I have it so easy.
There is probably nothing I fear more than missing out on a moment by not being emotionally present.
I am 100% happy and confident in choosing a homebirth.
I'm excited to lay on my stomach again.
Naming a baby is hard.
But it's easy to be excited about another person to love. Loving people is the best.
Please feel free to comment with any confessions of your own.
[vimeo 19195286 w=800 h=590] We put together the crib last night. I thought it would be fun to make a lil' stop motion video of the festivities. My first stop motion project..all shot while bouncing on my birthing ball.
Papa loves taking care of his girls.
**Song: Gamma Ray, Artist: Beck
...is all I really think about.
PS. Yes, this was my outfit while making pancakes Sunday morning.
Jan 7, 2011 You will be here next month.
My mind is a whirl.
So many big things swirling in there that it all seems to cancel each other out and I find myself staring ahead..strait into the whirling blur.
I feel you move and know you are mine. All mine. My main concern lately is not wanting to share you after you are here. Others love you too…but you and I have this......thing.
You know.
And I know.
The others love you…but you and I have this thing.
You are me and I am you. I never want you to leave me.
I was sitting here at my desk in front of my computer listening to this Jesca Hoop song..and crying. I can’t listen to it without crying. It’s like you are talking to me. And the answer is yes, you can borrow my hips and lips and wink and curl..till you get your own.
It occurred to me as I was listening to this that someday you will be a woman. Grown. With thoughts and fears and loves and heartbreaks. You might even be writing to your own baby girl someday listening to a song that reminds you that you are her and she is you. My heart felt you all grown up and wondering the things us grown up people wonder about and I wanted to put you back inside of me so we could figure it out together.
You and I.
You and I have this thing.
You know. I know.
I never want you to leave me…but I desperately want to see your eyes. Your own eyes. You won’t need to borrow mine anymore and that will be hard….but amazing to see that you are already so yourself.
I believe in you and your journey of independence..that is only moments away.
[audio:http://ds2.foliowebhosting.com/~foliocsd/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/11-Intelligentactile-1011.mp3|titles=11 Intelligentactile 101]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5NgG5koPZU&w=800&h=475] Chase Jarvis posted this video of the Sartorialist on his blog.
Not only is this short clip beautiful to watch, but it made me think about how complicated we sometimes make our efforts to live a creative life.
I love that his idea was simple and uncomplicated. He wasn't trying to copy someone else's creative life...instead he choose his own.
But as any "creative" will tell you, it's hard (maybe impossible) to ever feel like it's enough. There is always something more to say...and other ways to say it.
Questions I always have on my mind are, "How can I get this out?" "How can I satisfy this urge?". I'm guessing those questions never go away.
Friend and fabulous photographer, Leo Patrone, shot some photos of us in all our mother earth glory.
Leo, we love them. I would die if I had photos like this of my own parents when I was a growing babe. Thank you so much.
Check out Leo's blog for more us.
(We are now about 35wks...she's almost here.)
Yesterday the Mother of one of my dear friends passed away.
After spending a few days photographing their family this summer, they have been on my mind frequently.
A mother died...and in a few short weeks I, as a Mother, will give birth to a daughter.
The circle of life and death are so closely linked to one another. So fragile yet so amazingly strong and resilient. It keeps on going...even when seemingly impossible.
The events the past few days have really made me reflect on what Grant and I had deemed, "The Year of Not Waiting". We felt big changes fast approaching and we never want to live in a moment of regret...so we tried hard this year not to. We traveled and didn't wait for the timing to be better. We saved money and spent money and shared money. We would take hours doing nothing if it felt like something we needed. It was a great year for my business and I tried to approach it with no regrets...not waiting to say no to jobs or yes to ones that seemed like more of a risk. I spent the majority of this year experiencing the mystery and wonder of pregnancy. To be honest we didn't feel completely ready and we hadn't wrapped our heads around how life with a child would all work...but we want a family and waiting longer was not in the stars for us.
When I reflect on my dear friend and his family in their moment of grieving and celebrating the life of their Mother, I am grateful. I am grateful I focused on photographing "meaning" this year. I am grateful they too were not waiting to love and share and experience as a family. I am grateful that the vast majority of why I am a photographer has nothing to do with a paycheck.
I am grateful for Grant and my Baby Girl and this circle of life that keeps reminding me of all the reasons not to wait.
Happy 2011 to all my beautiful friends.
If this would have been the only image I shot while in Kauai last month, I would have been content.
Some of you may look at it and think, "What's the big deal?" "A landscape with some horses?....this is #1 image you shot?"....and if you are thinking those things fine! Really. I didn't shoot it for you. I shot it for me.
I am tired of shooting when I don't feel inspired...so I don't. If I don't "see it"..if I don't "feel it", then I don't take 1000 frames of it that I later open up in photoshop and HAVE to dig through.
Ask yourself when you shoot, "Why?'. What are you going to do with that image? What does it mean to you? Why does it matter? As long as you have an answer SHOOT. And even if you don't, you can ignore me and still shoot it. Just don't come crying to me when you lose all feeling.
My life does not happen in front of screens or behind them (at least not all of it).
This image is purely sentimental. It reminds me of begging my family to pull over when I first laid eyes on that wide open space. I think I was 14yrs old...and I had to run through it. I HAD to. So they stopped and we jumped fences and were free. I hold my breath every time I see it. It reminds me of innocence and change and love and family and solitary inspiration. It is always blessed with magic light. It is my field. It's where I go to in my mind when I just need to run free.
I had my polaroid land camera and 2 frames left to get it right. Always guessing on exposure with that camera, since your options are "lighter or darker"...I was fiddling with the settings and focus etc..when I saw horses running strait towards my framed image. Could it be?! No time to think. Say a prayer, finalize settings, push the shutter. It could be great. It could be a mess. Grant and I leaned over the white little sheet, peering at the first peeled corner. Oh please oh please oh please...60secs later and there it was. My favorite image of the whole trip. Just one shot...perfect to me.
We looked at each other. I'm not sure if we even said anything at all. He knew. I knew.
Guess we better head to the beach and think about how great our life is. First a stop at Banana Joe's.
(image shot of the Princeville Ranches, north shore Kauai)
1. We had a small tapas party at our place last night. Olive oil anyone?
2. It's all kind of a blur, but there was some post dinner pool plunging...what I can remember clearly is our pool thermometer read 55 degrees! I watched while sitting by the fire thank you very much.
3. I thought about buying a porta-a-potty for my office this week. At least we know I'm drinking enough water.
4. Since it's the holidays I am treating myself to expensive milk that you buy in glass jars. It just feels fancy.
5. I cried myself to sleep the other night because I felt some mom guilt over baby girl being "sunny side up" right now and felt guilt for every time I've slouched. NOT EVEN a big deal. Can someone turn these hormones down?
6. We finally bought a Professional 600 series Kitchen Aid and I am a little bit in love. I don't even want to use it because I don't want to ruin it.
7. I can't stop thinking about our elderly neighbor who answered the door pantsless when we brought over some cookies. He's 80+ and harmless...I'm just worried about him now.
8. I made the first cut for the NGO $15,000 photo grant I applied for. I am so proud I made it this far! I had never applied for one before and had no idea what to expect.
9. I think I spied my first ever stretch mark. I feel like a real woman now. (I guess the cellulite wasn't enough.)
10. Sometimes when I am stressed or feeling a little discouraged baby girl will give me a small poke like she's saying "It's OK Mom. You are really going to like me and everything is going to be fine. Plus I choose you!" And then I answer her out loud, "I know. Thanks for reminding me. I'm so happy I'm not alone".
11. Grant burned his bicep on the oven and he has the coolest burn mark...like he got into a knife fight. It kind of turns me on.
12. I made pasta carbonara and homemade mac and cheese this week. Homemade cheese sauce is seriously the best and SO easy.
13. This weather and month and sunset time generally just makes me want to watch movies and drink warm liquid out of mugs.
14. I am 32wks pregnant and think my body is a walking miracle. I've never appreciated it more.
15. I am so excited for a weekend at home with Grant. He is my #1 thing always worth mentioning.
I was searching for Long Beach Pediatrician recommendations last night and came across this article on mothering.com. I loved this quote from the article,
" We truly are social animals; we need to be with other people to feel good, whole, and happy. It's worth the effort to create tribes, however small and imperfect they may be".
I love community and with my work and travel schedule sometimes have a tendency to look from afar but never really integrate myself. This article was a nice reminder of surrounding ourselves with others. Period. My social interaction usually consists of either SUPER social..huge photo shoots, lots of people or very hermit like behind a computer working. Having some consistent social interactions would be nice at times...especially as a new mother or father.
As a working mama I may not have the time to make it an everyday occasion but once a week bread making sounds delightful. Anyone want to come over?
(Also does anyone have good pediatrician recommendations for the Long Beach area? I'm pretty empty handed at this point.)
*****UPDATE***** Honda has SOLD We found ourselves with not one but two cars to sell before the end of the year.
I hope you don't mind me sharing these cars on my blog. We figure the more people we can tell, the faster they may sell. AND we would always want our people to have first dibs.
The Honda has loads of miles, as it has been a driving work car...but come on...it's a Honda. They are amazing. The PT Cruiser needs no introduction. It has the word "Cruiser" in the name.
Both are great cars, it's just time for us to get a slightly bigger family car. Heaven knows this child of ours is going to be gigantic.
Take a look (and probably buy one):
Selling for $3000
Make someone's Christmas dreams come true. This 1999 Accord LX, 4dr w/ LEATHER interior & auto transmission, has been a work horse. Super reliable, sad to see it go. Perfect first car. 223,000 miles. Clean title. Very well maintained. Exterior paint in good condition. CD player plus ipod/mp3 hookup. VTEC Engine, Ultra Low Emission Vehicle. Power windows, locks, mirrors. Cruise control. Great highway gas mileage, 30mpg. Brand new brakes, tires, belts and water pump. Alloy wheels. Maintenance records available. Oil changed every 3-5k miles. Air conditioner works great. Nobody smoked in this car. Tags on this car are good until May. 2011. We are offering below KBB. Title on hand and ready to transfer. If interested please text, call 949-939-3697 or e-mail at rachel@rachelthurston.com.
Selling for $7800
Cruise around town this New Year's in style. This 2007 PT Cruiser Touring Edition 4dr, auto transmission is in excellent condition. Only 38000 miles! Clean title. Very well maintained. 1st owner had for under a year, 2nd owner was our Grandpa and we have only had it for a month! Exterior paint in great condition. CD player. Dual airbags. Tinted windows. Power windows, locks, mirrors and keyless entry. Cruise control. Alloy wheels. Air conditioner works great. Nobody smoked in this car. Tags on this car are good until Sept 2011. We are offering below KBB. Title on hand and ready to transfer. If interested please call 949-939-3697 or e-mail at rachel@rachelthurston.
Both Cars are located in Long Beach, CA. Please call or email if you are interested in coming by to take a look.
#949-939-3697, rachel@rachelthurston.com
1. no makeup 2. no blow dryer
3. eat 1 whole papaya a day..with lime
4. no waking up to alarm clocks, only rosters
5. you are welcome to make some loose plans BUT if they don't work out you really could care less
6. sunscreen is a must (you aren't as dumb as you were at 16)
7. carrying around plumeria blooms to smell at random is acceptable
8. it is impossible to OD on guava juice
9. NO happy trigger finger. photos may be taken if they mean something or randomly occur. Life does not happen in front of or behind a screen.
10. leaving the north shore is never a good idea. rethink ever staying on the southside (even if for a night)
11. underwear is optional and discouraged.
12. it is normal for your mind to wander in and out of island princess mode when keikis are on the mind.
13. getting a tan on your back may be difficult when lying on your stomach doesn't really work
14. floating in rivers is a must!
15. eat breakfast outside. no exceptions.
16. getting in the ocean at ke'e beach, right as the sun sets, wrapped around your big strong man ...seals the deal. island princess forever.
(we fly home tonight. and no...I don't want to talk about it.)
The day before we left for our babymoon (which was my birthday), we recieved this amazing gift in the mail. It came from the other side of the world, from clients who have become friends.
No such thing really as "surprise friends" but sometimes my excitement from friendships formed from client relationships surprise me like a gift I love to get but never expected.
Like we needed a thank you for being flown to Australia to shoot Dave & Mel's wedding...but they are just those type of people. Always giving thanks and appreciation.
We love the poster and your friendship more.
(umm and how good will it look in our new place?!)
I have the BJITW.
We snuck off to Kauai...and I didn't even mention it on my blog. For shame.
After the last month, I barely had time to think about it and after a day here am still trying to get into island mode. Constant to do lists swirl in my brain.
The weather has been perfect and we've already eaten at Ohana Diner & Ono Burgers....not to mention the above breakfast 2 days in a row.
...plus 2 eggs this morning cause grant said I needed more protein.
I feel thankful..
especially after sleeping 10+hrs last night.